Bit of Food Becomes Next J. K. Rowling! by GW & EC

In Wyoming, in a house there lives a bit of food that has written New York bestselling books.

Books include:

Pizza and the Catsup Stone
Pizza and the Cheese of Secrets
Pizza and the Prisoner of Dough
Pizza and the Ramen Tournament
Pizza and the Order of the Toppings
Pizza and the Pineapple Prince

Pizza and the Pepperoni Hallows

Fans are swarming their house wanting their autograph and its picture, or even a picture with it. We needed 102 police to block its house and to only let in one person at a time.
Finally, we found that its name was S. P. Aghetti. Plus he is writing more and better books.
We are trying to figure out what the next book will be called.

Drawings Come To Life! Sketches Stroll! Paintings Jog! WORLD PANIC!!!! by EC

Artists around the world are amazed yet depressed when all works of art come to life and walk right off the page!

“Ze Mona Lisa jumped out of ‘er painting and ran away!” Says a devastated French Louvre manager.

The art can be found everywhere—just not in their paintings. A couple in California claims to have seen Mona Lisa walking in Disney World and the Starry Night riding a taxi.

Detectives have investigated this truly puzzling fiasco and discovered that this dilemma was caused by a freak accident at the art university School of Art Institute of Chicago when the California Institute of Technology was visiting.

Apparently, a student from the California Institute snuck into one of the art classrooms and built a machine to make inanimate objects alive. Unfortunately, the machine went haywire, blasting its rays across the world and hitting famous paintings and sculptures. It also hit any other type of drawing or sketch or picture it could find. The detectives apprehended the student and scientists are currently figuring out how to restore the art back where they belong.

Crater Lake Evaporated Completely! by JS

A few hours ago, tourists had witnessed the hottest day in Oregon yet. The sun had blazed at the seams while the few tourists were halfway through into their hike. Finishing their hike, they stopped on their way back, by Crater Lake. Only to be astonished by what they were looking at. As barely anyone was out in the heat, they were found to be the first witnesses of the much dry lake. Crater Lake had completely vanished and what used to be a lake, had turned into a ditch full of a mud and sand mix. After analyzing and doing further research, it turned out that the lake had fully evaporated due to the unusual heat and high temperatures.

“The lake was completely evaporated, the scene looked like it came straight out of a movie,” one of the tourists had said. “All the fish were stuck, struggling on the ground, most had already died. Such a tragedy.”

Mississippi River all of a Sudden Change from Water to Mango Nectar! by GW

As Sally Reed was sailing on a river boat, she was wiping a splash off of her face, a splash of juice splashed her face. She immediately reported and when some reporters came to the river, there were children drinking from the river all along the banks.

“I don’t know,” says Sally as she looks at the yellow-orange water “it could be dirty” soon after testing the water it is found to be contaminated and many families have to buy the cure for their children who drank the icky liquid.

Then just as fast as it happened, the stuff was back to its normal watery form.

We will report more when we find out what exactly happened.

All Mosquitoes Die! Causes Huge Chain Reaction! by GW

People are puzzled. Some are happy. But most are scared. The mosquito reaction was weird lots of animals died because of no food. Then more and more died because of it. Many are wondering when it will come to them.

“Me and my wife were just swatting at a swarm of them when they just disappeared and we didn't feel another sting or bite,” says crime fighter Jake the Jake. many have already gone crazy because the food they most like has died out.

People from all different fields are doing their thing. 

We will write and report more when we have more information.

Alien Cats Spotted in Norfolk, Virginia! Society Is Befuddled At The Scene! by EC

It was a peaceful day in Norfolk, Virginia when NASA scientists Barty Brown and Jane Jones came across three alien kittens from the planet Meowboo.

They were hiking in the woods when Jones heard a strange noise, similar to a meow. They headed towards the noise and discovered three green kittens with a pair of two strange antennae on each of their heads.

“They looked at us expectantly and kept on meowing. We brought them to our house and fed them milk. Then we brought them to the lab and tested on them to find out what exactly they were.” says Jane Jones.

“We found out they were aliens by extracting a drop of their blood, which was a turquoise blue and did a bunch of tests on it.” says Barty Brown.

The scientists are still testing on the kittens, and we will post when we get more answers.

Local MacMillian Duck Charged of Murder! The People of Massachusetts Demand Answers! By EC

It was a devastating day when a local duck pecked John Johnson, (a famous artist) to the death, causing many inquiries and a devastated wife.

“My poor John,” She said tearfully. “He was so young!”

On Saturday the 12th of June, John Johnson arrived in Central Park, Boston and set up his artist supplies, getting ready to paint the wildlife.

Unfortunately, his first time painting moving wildlife, he got frustrated when the duck he was painting didn’t sit still and called the duck, ‘a feathered menace to society’.

Remember folks, ducks are highly intelligent and can often tell when a human is insulting them. The duck got angry and pecked Mr. Johnson. A pedestrian noticed this and called the ambulance, which took him to the hospital, where he died of his injuries a few hours later.

The duck was charged for murder and brought to court. Do you think that the duck should receive the death sentence? Or does it deserve a second chance?

Harry Potter Books all Suddenly Disappear! Every Single Completed Book of it! by GW

When it happened no one could explain what had happened, they just disappeared out of people's hands and bookshelves and backpacks. They took off just like that!

“No one knew what to do, no one knew what happened next,” says Madeline Chang, who was reading a Harry Potter book at the time.

Finally, after much research, the government found out that J. K. Rowling had also disappeared and many think that it was related to the books.

But luckily (and why no one knows why) the books that were still being made somehow survived. But they all became even more expensive because 500,000,000 books had disappeared.

Scientists, secret agents, chemicals, and lots of other weird professions were working on the case alike. We are all still waiting for an explanation for this weird problem.

Mammoth Sighting! Seen in Various States all Across America! by GW

The first sighting was in Florida when an old man with his wife saw a mammoth while they were sitting on their front porch. Then a young family with two children that lived in Virginia saw it when they were on a family picnic with other family members. It happened quite a few more times with a guy in Idaho who was walking his dog, another with a lady in Minnesota who was walking her dog and baby.

What is happening? Is a quite frequent question. Many are still researching and trying to figure out what and where and why is the mammoth here.

So far we have learned that the mammoth was supposed to be cloned in a test lab but managed to escape. People are also trying to capture the big fluffy elephant.

Tacos Clouds Invade California! Citizens Eating Tacos Everywhere! by GW

The day the clouds came no one realized that they were taco shaped, the citizens just ran home for cover from the rain.

Right before it started raining, a young boy realized the clouds were taco shaped and people ran outside with buckets or just their own mouths to catch the tacos. Soon the people were tired of the tacos but the tacos didn't stop.

Later after much research from scientists, and the Californians hiding in their houses, it was found out that the clouds had escaped from a research lab on Neptune.

Scientists started contacting scientists who contacted the scientist on Neptune and learned the taco cloud was not finished and that the only way to stop it from raining was to throw 102 tacos back at the clouds and that would make the cloud disappear.

“After that, no one from California has ever eaten another taco ever again.” say’s Rick, who lived in California once.

Aliens Want To Wage War In Michigan by NA

On May 19, 2022, an alien attack on the streets of Michigan caused 23 people to vanish and 3 men to be killed. "The aliens want to wage war on us, but we will fight back!" - Joe Biden . 

The alien came from Leikconite, a far away planet unknown to man until that fateful day. The alien had come for revenge after an ancient civilization had vanquished his kind all those years ago. The alien looked purple, and its skin looked weathered, like it had been hurt. "I hate the thing. Get rid of it." - Anonymous.

Terrorists Armed With Milk Bombs by KSM & EL

2 days ago, on July 4th 1877, the Gladiator Terrorists attacked North America, United States in Genoa, a small town in Nevada with a population of 940 and they used the very unconventional milk bombs, the bombs exploded spilling milk everywhere while leveling the city and this is only a fraction of their power after escaping from life in jail; the attack scared off many people and the reason was obvious, they did it to get revenge on the United States for locking them up.

They used their daily forks to loosen the tile in their jail floor that led to the sewers and on a stormy night in June and used forks to break the sewer pipe when thunderstruck. They then bought 100 gallons of milk from Costco, the cashier was very suspicious of them. Then they went to Best Buy to get the electronics and once they had all the parts they created the bombs. Once the bombs were ready they waited for a dark and stormy night and once there was one they stole an old military plane and took of to terrorize Nevada through milk bombs. You may be wondering how they got this money, they stole it from the prison managers during the breakout. You also may be wondering where they were sent to jail, it was San Quentin state prison in California and they went to prison for hacking the government site and getting blueprints for a new advanced technology called a tank.

They still haven’t been caught so report any suspicious activity.

Guinea Pig Robs Bank by MR and MK

 Earlier last night, Bell Bank was robbed by, (as detectives have informed us) none other than the bank’s own maskot Chubby the guinea pig, footprints were found leading out of one of the bank’s main vaults, video footage shows Chubby leaving the vault with a large sack of gold, “Chubby’s super-guinea-pig strength was caused by experiments that were performed on him as a young guinea pig.” says Tom Bell the owner of Bell Bank.  According to Tina Chris, the bank’s manager, Chubby did not show up to work, nor was he in his cage today.  Local authorities are asking citizens in the area to remember to lock up all their valuable belongings, as Chubby is still on the loose.  “I encourage you not to worry” said Tim Timothy, the town’s mayor “if you do see Chubby do not approach him, please call local authorities,  if you have any information on Chubby, please call this number: 503-150 and you will receive a $1 sextillion reward.” 

Chubby is small and chubby, he has white fur and red eyes.  We encourage you not to look directly into Chubby’s eyes, as they will melt your soul with cuteness.  Stay safe, and remember to call in if you see Chubby.

Skiers Find Dead Alien Body by AC

"We were skiing and I crashed" Said Allen Wood " I couldn't slow down and I ran into the woods, in the woods I found a dead alien". I would've gotten a photo but my phone had gotten too cold and the battery ran out. "The alien was green and slimy and gross," Konrad McIntyre added. "We only saw its feet before we dug it out, it was wearing human clothes and shoes so we thought it was a person in the snow."

Aliens know how to dress like us "Allen Wood reported "I don't know if that was the only alien in our community and world but it most likely isn't, be careful. Your best friend could be an alien, your mom or dad could be as well."

Giant Kitten Invades New York City! Citizens Go Crazy For the Giant Feline! by EC

The citizens of New York City were subdued when a giant Maine Coon kitten stormed the city and caused a rampage in Chinatown, destroying buildings and smashing cars. The kitten, whose name was later found to be Mrs. Puzzlepaws, was owned by famous scientist Bobby McBob. Dr. McBob was recently in the studies of molecular reduction, the science of manipulating one's cells to change in size, and had invented a machine called the Reductor. It is found that Mr. McBob tested his invention on his own feline, Mrs.

Puzzlepaws and succeeded in transforming the adorable cat. Unfortunately, Mr. McBob had underestimated the kitten's newfound strength and had left her unattended. She then escaped his lab and traveled to New York City, causing all the New Yorkers to gaze upon her in awe. Hypnotized by Mrs. Puzzle Paw's adorableness, no one called the authorities to stop the kitten from destroying New York. Eventually, a local police officer noticed the kitten and managed to restrain the kitten in a massive net (along with help from her department of course). After the kitten was restored back to her original size, Mr. McBob was brought in for questioning.

Talking frog recites poem! Queen Elizabeth || topples! by RD

All of Great Britain was shocked by the events of earlier today when a frog burst into the auditorium in the middle of William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet and started to recite a poem that, upon hearing, made Queen Elizabeth || faint and fall into the crowd below her skybox.

It was a lovely morning: the queen had gotten extra tea and had hired professional actors to perform William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet, which she was quite a fan of. The play started out great, and everything was going to plan, when a frog pushed open the door to the auditorium and hopped inside. He then hopped up and onto the stage, where he opened his mouth and recited dramatically: “My dear, precious queen, I have something to tell you: your daughter is dead!”

To this news, the queen promptly fainted, causing her to fall off the edge of the railing and into the seats below.

Luckily, no one was injured, since it was a private screening. However, poor Queen Elizabeth || ended up with two broken arms and a sprained ankle.

Pizza Bomb In Lake Superior! by AG

A teenage girl named Elizabeth Adams planted a pizza bomb in the middle of Lake Superior killing 775 fish and injured 12 people. Young Elizabeth Adams made the bomb in her home town pizza shop, with the help of Patrick Stone they created the bomb with common house supplies.

“I can’t believe that my little baby girl would plant a bomb in Lake Superior, we went to that lake every year since she was a little girl, it has sentimental value to our family.” cries Elizabeth’s mother, Sarah Adams.

“I am so disappointed in my little girl…I…I’m speechless.” Elizabeth’s father, Tom Adams says. Elizabeth Adams has been sentenced to jail for 5 years.

Local Restaurant Serves a Burger That Will Knock Your Socks Off by LG and SP

Local restaurant known as “Freshy’s Burgers” serves a burger that will literally blow your mind, a burger was found last Tuesday containing trace amounts of very explosive gunpowder as a member of a local gang was recently arrested for selling illegal explosives and one of his customers was at this restaurant they were using the explosives to try and make the food not spoil, but it tastes like a burnt sock! Make sure to lock your doors this Halloween night or you may find some explosive burgers in your very own fridge!